A New Day is Dawned...

Congratulations, Barack Obama, for running one tight-ass race and delivering a resounding thump to the McCain campaign. I, along with Bug, volunteered for your campaign and let me tell you: the qualities that Obama displays - deliberate, thoughtful, organized, consistent - are the qualities that the entire campaign displays, on down to the volunteer coordinators in every precinct. Barack Obama moved me. And he has moved a nation. His life will never be the same, and very, very thankfully, neither will ours.

Congratulations also to Tina Fey, who I believe with my whole heart, influenced the voters by sharply impersonating Sarah Palin as a manifestation of what we all couldn't quite articulate. I'll let you fill in the blank.

I further congratulate John McCain for his considerable graciousness in defeat. He reminded me of the McCain I would have considered voting for in 2000.

And finally, congratulations to the American people. The way you voted makes me hopeful for the future. It's a tough job. He won't be perfect. But he'll work hard for you, because he - sit down now - cares about you. Thank you for caring enough to vote.

Guest Blogger Extraordinaire!

Since CB blogger is busy and lame and should be self flagellating like the albino monk from the Divinci Code, she will turn over the Congrats Blog to a worthy filler...Buggie McBuggerson. Says she:

"I would like to congratulate George Michael for whom it seems Eli Stone was created. His repeated appearances on the popular ABC show have sparked a new interest in the aging former Wham! front man. Additionally, it has been murmured around the proverbial water cooler that he is actually God to Eli's character.

Then Carrie Underwood sang his "Praying for Time" at the American Idol Gives Back event (another hint of his divinity?). He then went on to sing the same song on American Idol a few weeks later which was, to me, disconcerting because dude! You've got a ton of other, more popular songs. AND Carrie sang it better. Still, you've come a long way from passing out in your car and doing questionable things in restrooms, George. Congratulations!"

Says CB: when I was around 10, I saw the video for Wake me up Before you Go Go and fell head over heals in love with George Michael. When I recall that, people say: wow, he was so...gay. Um...who cares? And, I was 10. AND...it may have been the first time I've crushed on a gay man, but it most definitely wasn't the last. Come to think of it, it's not the first time I've crushed on a George Michael.



Thanks, Buggie.

Our Little Girl is Growing Up

This is a very special post, about a very special girl, who did a very special thing: Bug graduated last weekend from Boston University.


It takes a lot of desire and dedication to recommit yourself and pursue something that doesn't fit so easily into your life or your schedule (and study and write about things that have little to do with yours OR YOUR FRIENDS' interests. Fractals anyone?) But Bug held strong and graduated cum laude thank you very much from BU's Metropolitan College, which offered an online program in which she was one of the first students to go through the curriculum. Her class consisted of several people from around the country, many of whom traveled to BU to participate in the ceremony. You could tell by witnessing the interactions Bug had with her classmates and teachers at various receptions how utterly charmed they were by her and how much she contributed to their humble community.

It's kind of the way we feel about her in our humble community here in metro DC. She's added a lot to our little world and we couldn't be prouder of her (note: I totally pillaged this picture from Bug's site. Take advantage of a two for one deal and see it twice!)


Also along for the ride were mama and sister, who are two of the loveliest ladies you could meet. Thank you mama for not being (or at least not showing that you were) annoyed with us and for allowing us to share in the festivities. And I am not, I repeat NOT, in any way entering into a BFF/girlfriend-like relationship with Kirsten (KK, you know the code, I'll call you when the eagle has landed. A not so subtle wink and a hardly discrete nudge follow.)

It was lots of fun hanging with some of my favorite people to celebrate this milestone. Congratulations, Bug. Now girl, you better eat some cheese!

Moving On...

So, it is hard for me to move on from the last post, but alas, I must. There are people to congratulate, you know.


Let's start with obvious. Miley Cyrus got MORE attention from the ADULTS in this world via the Vanity Fair photo shoot and leaked photos of her-showing-her-bra "scandals." Did I not fear this would happen? That Ms. Cyrus would go the way of the Lohan?

And speaking of Ms. Lohan, has anyone read the latest gossip that she is a) reportedly dating DJ Samantha Ronson and b) when La Lohan found Ashley Olsen recently chatting with Ronson, screamed at her: "Get your 15-year-old 'Full House' a** away from my girlfriend!" Ladies, you are keeping it classy! But it's not you who I congratulate...it's your parents, for just giving it their all. Miley's parents were apparently horrified with the now infamous shot, but they left the shoot early. Now granted, there were handlers, but I think publicists and other such members of a professional posse are coming at it from a much different angle then say, Mom and Dad. And quite possibly, "horrified" could be decoded as "generally very pleased with all the publicity" in the Hollywood-to-average person translation book.

Speaking of horrifying Hollywood parents, has anyone been catching the new Tracey Ullman show on Showtime? Does anyone have Showtime? It's a pretty biting take on American culture, spectacularly manifested in Ms. Ullman's imagination of Dina Lohan's social life...

Warning if watching at work (some F Bombs are dropped):



Happy Hump Day!

Alert: Completely Serious Post Ahead.

Pics from Mike's brother added here.

Congratulations will be postponed for the week so that I can give remembrance to a friend from high school who overdosed and died last week. The news came like a punch to the gut and spread quickly across the network of people who knew Mike; we all had the same contradictory emotional response: shock and little surprise.

Mike, like many of us, experimented with alcohol and pot. Then gradually got into the harder stuff. He want to jail, then rehab. He was trying to start over. His parents were driving to his place in California to give him their car when they got the call mid-trip from his friend who found him. News is still coming in.

We haven't seen Mike in years, but the sucker punch was immediate and swift. I'm still close with several people I went to high school with (the average size of a graduating class was 70 people), and each of them have direct relationships with other people from our town; those relationships have kept me deeply connected to that place and that time. A group of my high school girlfriends came to DC for a weekend last November and we talked about Mike a lot, as we did every time we all got together. Most of us had some type of "experience" with him, whether it was making out or more. I mean if you hadn't gone a round with Mike, well, it's probably because you passed out early. But he wasn't a dick about it; he wasn't using you. He wrote several notes to me in the yearbook and on his class pictures that he was "so grateful that we got over our past and could remain good friends." I don't remember having a relationship with him, nor do I remember ever expressing regret that it never materialized into a relationship; it was what it was: two high school friends screwing around.

But he was sensitive. And maybe that sensitivity made him more susceptible to the path he couldn't escape. As my friends and I talked and emailed this weekend, we wondered how he felt; if starting over seemed insurmountable and whether we should have reached out more. We wondered if he knew how much we still talked about him. And how we always held out hope that he would come out the other side.

Note: I'll be scanning and uploading pictures at some point over the next couple days, so check back...

Sincere Congratulations

Congrats Blog is going to get serious (as she can be) and offer her sincerest congratulations to the Changs who delivered Kalina Grace Jia-li Chang yesterday evening. Weighing in a 7lb 8oz 19in. She's a lucky girl to be born to such great parents. Thinking through all the things she could rebel on later in life, I fear that hating hockey would be the worst such offense. Perish the thought!

Also, CB would like to congratulate my friend Jule's son, Nicholas, who was nominated to attend the Junior National Young Leaders Conference (JrNYLC) in DC, which helps scholars develop and sharpen their leadership skills by examining the leaders of the past and empowering them to make a positive social impact in their community and the world. Learn more about it here.

I remember my middle school trip to Washington, DC. Rockin' on the bus to Foreigner's JukeBox hero, flirting with boys at Lincoln's gi-normous feet and playing some weird breathing game in the hotel rooms where you make yourself hyperventilate until you felt high and almost passed out. "My turn now, you went twice!!" Nope, no leadership skills developed on that trip.

So...sarcasm mostly in check for this post. What is the CB, if not to congratulate?

Speaking of which, if you, dear reader, would like to congratulate someone/thing, you can either send CB your request or your "guest blogger" prose to congratsblog@gmail.com.

Happy weekend!

We're Bringing Funny Back

Last night Bex, IH and I saw Margaret Cho at the Warner Theater and gurrllll, "betch" still got it. The Notorious C.H.O. brought the funny in a big way, spewing a stream of intellectual consciousness on d*ck, politics, c*ck, her mother, balls, race, and, of course, the big P.

All the straight people in the house say "Hey-ay." Cue cricket sounds.

What I love about a Margaret Cho show is that it's full on gay pride. Though girlfriend waxes poetic on themes universal to all humans, her sweet spot revolves around the gays, simultaneously poking fun at and demanding self-respect from the LGBT community. Note if you're watching from work: the below video includes some salty language.



If Cho has a mantra it is: love yourself. Followed closely by: love your fellow man / woman. Says she: "if you don't support gay marriage, but laugh your ass off at Will & Grace, well F*** you!"

I have friends and family in the gay community, and it's nice to go to a show that specifically and hilariously honors them. Congrats.

Transitioning from funny relating to the disenfranchised...if you haven't yet seen this website (all 5 of you?), check it out now. If you're anglo (and you know it, clap your hands!), and you like the stuff presented here, but thought you were somehow cool in your affinity for it, my apologies. I've winced a few times myself.

Speaking of stuff white people like, The Office returned! And 30 Rock! And Scrubs! I'm going to settle in this weekend, get up close and personal with my DVR and wrap that NBC love around me like a blanket. Don't judge me.

Remember?

You know that saying, "best laid plans..." Actually, IS that the saying? Seems like it's only a half saying at best. But I digress. Well that plan was simple, and, I thought, easily achievable. Start a blog? Check. Update it ONCE PER WEEK? No problem! But then the usual work tsunami hits and I'm back again to writing / speaking these words 20,000 times per day. I'm tired and I'm cranky and am so totally over it, but this "battle of the gmail custom status messages" between me and Bug today sorted me out:

JT: My laptop won't boot up and all my work is on there. GAH!

Bug: Maybe your laptop is mad because you haven't updated your blog

JT: The Genius Bar rocks. Though technically, I came up with the solution. Who's the genius now?

Bug: That's great. Maybe you should congratulate yourself on your blog.

That Bug. She knows how to drive home a point. CB and Bex talked me off the ledge this weekend when I totally lost perspective (and my shit) because a million people were calling me on Sunday about work and apparently it. just. could. not. wait. Seriously...we're not saving the world here, people. It's Easter! Eat your ham, Tina!

Anyhoo...since my brief time away, I ran this with MM as an interim goal in prep for the Nation's Triathalon in September. We're doing the swimming leg in the Potomac and whenever I tell people that I get the same look:



If I come out with a third arm, I'm coming after you, Fenty.

I also spent a night, doing this, and last night playing this at Bex (thank you, IH). Um, I think only the high-pitched yet oddly soothing sounds of Aaron Neville can truly articulate how I feel about this game: I don't know much, but I know I love you. I would not rest until I conquered Talk Dirty to Me. Done and done. How you like me now, Cee Cee Deville? Mii needs a wii, and if I get one, CB will have only 10 minutes to create her avatar. Can I get a get a Kapow! That Bitch is a Slut!, Marci? (for those not in the know, this was a clue I used when trying to get CB to say "High Five" during a drunken game of Taboo.)

At any rate, work should be slowing down to a normal level soon, knock wood, and I can get back to the good stuff. Man, it felt great to write something fun. Congrats, Bug.

How do I love thee, Project Runway? Let me count the ways

The ladies gathered at Cristina's for the Project Runway finale and let me tell you...we looked fabulous. And ate fabulous! Yummy treats and drinks were served and the only thing missing was Baby Banana, who was slaving away at the office, looking fierce I'm sure, but certainly not feeling it.

I'm happy to say we made a convert of Bug who just started tuning in late January and is now hooked. Congratulations to you, you now have about a year to wait until the next one. Or at least it feels that way.

Project Runway is the Gold Standard for reality shows. In fact, I think it should be in its own category, perched high on a pedestal above Top Chef and waaaaay above America's Next Top Model, which I love but not for reasons I'm proud.

Project Runway has real people with real talent who you know want so badly to make it in the design business, and aren't just trying to get on TV (I'm looking at you Rob and Amber). The winner gets instant dream fulfillment to pursue his / her art -- and let's be honest, it is art -- and not a one of us feel slimy after having participated in it or watched it on TV (I'm talking to you girls of Flavor of Love).

And as someone who is not the least bit design inclined, I'm utterly fascinated by what walks down the runway after each challenge. They get what...? 2 days to sketch, go to Mood, create their looks, fit and style their models and show in front of the intimidating Nina Garcia, the bitchy Michael Kors, and the flawless Heidi Klum? If I was thrown into a challenge like this (as in...welcome to the Hell Channel's No Talent Ass Clown Show, where people are forced to do things they have absolutely no ability to do!") I would be a white hot quivering mess in the corner.

Which would be a step away from Jillian, who stressed balls each week, but pulled out amazing pieces almost every time and just got better and better.


Oh please, what would you come up with if the design challenge was to update the Overall look?

I was rooting for her to win, thinking she and the fashion industry had the most to gain. Even though she started her own company, you know she'll worry and second guess and will anyone actually see her complete her work without Tim Gunn telling her to finish? That $100K could have hired her a really good assistant to keep her on task and a sewing machine that doesn't make her bleed on her garments -- never a tenant of haute couture.

Rami is already pretty established so will continue to do great with -- say it with me now -- the draping.

And Christian is so young and talented, I wonder if getting the $100K to start his own line isn't a bit anticlimactic. I almost want him to be snapped up by some major design house, ala John Galliano for Dior. Give him a crapload of resources and a big brand, baby! and let's see what happens.

But you watch the last few minutes of the show and you see the serious chemistry between him and Posh Spice and -- oh no! Lip Quivers! Near Waterworks! -- and you think, darn you, you lopsided-haired, quick-witted, elfin-like charmer who made your collection in a CLOSET -- you won me over! Congratulations, Christian. Now go out there and make it work.

And to the ladies who were my company last night...till next time, where we'll share a snortletoo.

How do people land on Congratulations Blog?

By Googling the following phrases*

Keri Russell Armpits Oscar
Regis Oscars Gay
I'd Have Sex with Myself

*Actual recent queries entered in search engines that led people to Congrats Blog (according to Stat Counter).

Congrats Blog Oscar Extravaganza!

Hello, my pets and welcome to CB's Oscar Extravaganza. While I won't be "live blogging," I'll be keeping track of the twists and turns that Oscar brings and giving you a running tally of what's happening as the thoughts come to me. I'm at my friend Bug's house, where I have the lovely Angel acting as my wingman at the annual Snarkademy Awards. Drinks will be flowing, and the snarky comments will be flying, so grab a glass of champagne, sit back and enjoy the show.

We're at pre-show red carpet now.

Bug just commented that Regis comes up to George Clooney's nipples. Is he standing on a box? George's girlfriend, Sarah Larson has to be the luckiest girl in the world. Las Vegas cocktail waitresses everywhere -- look your best -- you never know.

Again...why, why, why is Miley Cyrus an Oscar presenter? I mean, she's adorable and talented, but...why? Oh right, Disney owns ABC, ABC is hosting the Oscars...I swear, I'm not a cynic.

Helen Mirren...you look beautiful. Cameron Diaz, stop talking. Ellen Page, you crazy cute pixie...are you tired of people asking if you celebrated your 21st birthday? She's not going to be the next Lindsay Lohan, E! Red Carpet Team. Move on. Are there no more stars? Why are we going to Bill Conti, the man behind the Oscar orchestra?

Ok, Reege, Dancing with the Starts host and random entertainment reporter, enough of you...on with the show! Good luck, Jon Stewart -- you and the writers had about a week and a half to get your best jokes together. Let's hope you had Bruce Villanch on your team.

Heh.

-- On Javier Barden's performance which captures: "Hannibal Lecter's murderousness with Dorothy Hamill's wedge cut."
-- "Diablo Cody was once an exotic dancer and now is an Oscar-nominated screenwriter (for Juno). I hope you're enjoying the pay cut."

Not bad, writers. The strike did ya good.

The first congratulations of the night goes to...Alexandra Byrne for Elizabeth, the Golden Age. The next one goes to the ladies and the gay men in the house for getting to see George Clooney so soon in the show...sigh.

Ratatouille wins. Katherine Heigl is really nervous announcing the makeup category, poor thing. La Vie en Rose wins.

If it's OK with you, I'm going to dispense with the "lesser" Oscars now, no offense to the recipients. First acting award! Previous winners reel, lots of white people, Cuba Gooding, Junior who won for Jerry Maguire and went on to such honorable roles in...Daddy Day Camp.

Congrats, Javier Bardem. You were a scary-ass bastard in No Country for Old Men.

Bug thinks Keri Russell looks like Nancy Reagan and has arm pits that look like a woman's reproductive parts. We've had a few drinks at this point, and think everything we say is hilarious.

Aw, Owen Wilson. We're glad you're still with us, buddy. We can't wait for Wedding Crashers 2.

Supporting Actress. Tight race, but the Brits are the favorites. Which one will it be? Ruby Dee seems very impressed. With herself. Tilda Swinton wins it. The Chronic...What?!?..cles of Naria!

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to No Country for Old Men. Well-deserved.

Academy teaches us the ins and outs of the ballot process. Fascinating.

Working on the Bourne Ultimatum is a sound mixer's / editor's dream!

Best Actress! Cate Blanchett looks terrified by her own performance as Elizabeth I. I love all these actresses so much. Big Upset! Marion Cotillard wins as Edith Pilaf in La Vie en Rose. Good one, Bex and Mom...this was the big shocker of the night. Way to have your finger on the pulse.

Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová perform "Falling Slowly" from Once. They win the award. This is the most moving film of the year. If you haven't seen it...move it up to the top of your Netflix queue now.

In memoriam reel. Still breaks my heart to see Heath Ledger. Breaks. my. heart.

Original screenplay: Diablo Cody for Juno. No surprises there. Ellen Page got the double hand grab from Diablo on her way to the podium and passed right by Jennifer Garner who was eagerly on the edge of her seat waiting for her "good actor" treat from Diablo. Denied!

Lead actor. Again, Helen Mirren is freakin' gorgeous. Daniel Day Lewis wins. He kneels in front of the Queen, and she dubs him Sir Acts-a-lot.

Directing: Joel and Ethan Coen. There's Frannie, Joel's wife. These people should make a movie every week.

And the big one -- picture: No Country for Old Men.

Well, that does it, darlings. Oscar was predictable, down to the 1-2 shockers of the evening and at least one awful song of the in the mix. Thanks, Bug, for the terrific soiree. See you at the after parties...

Why do I even KNOW this song?

I cannot get the Miley Cyrus song, "See you Again" out of my head. Seriously, this is not my demographic. I'm not an 11-year old girl, nor am I someone you'd see on To Catch a Predator. Yet constantly over the last 2 days, all I hear is:

The next time we hang out
I will redeem myself
My heart it can't rest 'till then
(oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa)
I can't wait...to see you again.

Mile Cyrus / Hannah Montana is a freakin' phenomenon thanks to the Disney machine (successfully churning out child stars since the 1920s!), but I fear that she will go the way of the Lohan. I feel like the transition is already happening; like Hollywood super-agents have already swooped in, snatched her from Billy Ray Cyrus and said "thanks for raising her up until this point. We'll take it from here." Case in point: why do I know so much about this girl? She's 15. I don't watch the Disney Channel...often. I don't subscribe to Tiger Beat. I read mature, adult magazines like People and Us and when I flip the pages I expect mature, adult news, dammit!

So congratulations, youngsters. You're experiencing what is known as "the tipping point" of this talented young gal's career. She's right on the fence now, so let's hope she takes the path of boring, old Natalie Portman.

Change...You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

Congratulations to change!  You're really kicking the ass of your rival, status quo. We haven't seen you since the last election cycle, but every time you step into the ring, we realize how much we missed you. How without you, we were just going through the motions. Change! That's what I need! Change will help me hold onto my house in this ever looming crisis, and by God, it will certainly motivate me to stop watching VH1-Celebreality long enough to figure out where I invest my money for the retirement that social security won't be covering. By the way -- and I'm not the only person to note this -- Bret Michaels is rapidly morphing into Goldie Hawn. Every rose has it's thorn, indeed.

Lest you think I'm heading down a depressing road, my little change agents, I offer you this: CB officially endorses Barack Obama. In the 2004 election, the Democrats had John Kerry and the common sound bite from that party's voters was: "John Kerry? Well, I'm not really into him, but I'd vote for a ham sandwich over GW."

But every once in a while a candidate speaks to you. Yes, Obama is standing for change and yes, he's change we can believe in, but as with any election you pick that horse that you think can carry you over finish line and maybe, just maybe, gives that extra something that makes you hopeful and proud. And in this election, we need a freaking Seabiscuit.

Narcissism, Thy Name is…Wait, What was I Talking about? My Reflection Distracted Me.

My friends and I are conceited.  This recently dawned on me when we were playing a game where the objective was to anonymously answer innocuous questions and then guess who said what.  One question: "what would you ask a psychic?" yielded responses ranging from "will I be this pretty forever?" to "will I still be this awesome 10 years from now?"  Not one of us was surprised by the lack of humility; instead we thought: that's a fair question.  And, well, probably.

On another evening, we were exploring the "what if" questions perplexing only the most bored at heart, when someone asked: what's the first thing you'd do if you had the opportunity to be the opposite sex for one day.  Granted, not the most original "what if" question, but the answer my friend B gave was: "I'd have sex with myself," she said.  She explained that not only was it highly important for her to know how she was in the sack, but it was equally important to know that she'd be as good in bed as a man as she simply knew she was as the fairer gender.  We didn't debate the rationale; rather, we pondered whether the genie-like rules would allow one to actually exist as their current sex and still be their same soul as the opposite sex simultaneously.

So congratulations big-headed divas everywhere!  Your unwillingness to see yourself as anything other than fabulous (and exercise your right to throw your cell phones at the help) is an inspiration to us all.  But then again, you knew that, didn't you gorgeous?

Exciting News in the World of Blogging!

This just in!  I've decided to start a blog.  In 2008.  This is very exciting news for my friends an family who will feel obligated to check in once and a while and bathe in the warmth of my words. You see, I'm going to try my hand at writing something that doesn't involve the following words or phrases...

Human Capital

Value Proposition

Facilitate

Paradigm

Stove-piped

Competencies

Business Process Re-engineering

 

...and I figured practice makes perfect.  

I can't promise that I'll always write good, ahem, well.  I can only promise that I'll write something at least once per week along the theme that the blog title suggests: congratulating a well-deserving recipient(s) of praise.

So...congratulations friends and family of me!  You're about to get an all too intimate understanding of the inner workings of my brain.